I Left the Bartender a 50% Tip but She Thanked Only My Husband

One evening, a woman chose to go out to dinner with her husband, but she had no idea what would happen that night. When she first arrived, the bartender didn’t notice her and asked her husband alone about the cuisine. The bartender then praised just her husband after receiving a tip from the woman.

An anonymous female contributor shared her story on Reddit’s “AITA” topic on March 17, 2022. The woman talked about her date night with her spouse and how it ended, which was very different from how she had expected.


The woman suggested that one evening they go to the neighborhood eatery for a quick meal and a beverage since she and her husband weren’t feeling very excited about cooking. Her spouse concurred; he was a frequent customer of the restaurant, going there roughly once a week with a buddy.


The woman told her husband she would pay the debt with cash. The pair went to the bar when they arrived at the restaurant. “We need to make sure to tip her well because she’s the new bartender on the day me and my friend go [sic],” the woman recounted her husband saying.

He thought their dinners were nice and they never had empty glasses.


The sentiment struck a chord with OP because she too worked in customer service where tips were given. She told her spouse she would remember that without any problems.

The couple ordered dinner and a few beers for themselves while they were there. Although not overtly impolite, the bartender appeared to ignore the woman’s presence. She only asked the husband questions about the food, and only when his plate was almost empty—while hers was still half full—did she ask him if he wanted a box.The wife was met with a boring look and a deadpan expression, but the husband was showered with enormous smiles and giggles. The woman said, “Even though [the bartender] didn’t technically ask me a question, I still answered politely.”


The woman paid with cash for the entire cost, which came to about $60, and left a $30 tip. The woman chose to leave a sizable tip despite the bartender’s slightly off-putting demeanor since she was used to working for tips herself and because her husband was a frequent customer. She admitted that her food was always delicious and that she always had a drink, regardless of any weird vibes she might be experiencing.But just as soon as she paid them, the bartender walked away from the woman and thanked the husband alone, adding, “[Thank] you so much for doing that! It was really pleasant! The woman was clearly irritated by this happened.

The woman said, “I paid the tab, and I tipped you,” with the back of the bartender’s head less than ten inches from her face. Thank you very much. Her “you’re welcome” had a definite, purposeful sarcastic tone. The woman was positive the bartender heard her, but she just turned to leave without ever turning around. After this conversation, the pair quickly exited the establishment.


The woman’s husband said that her remark was inappropriate throughout the way home. He was a regular customer of the institution, and her behavior had made him feel awkward. The spouse, who is typically excellent, didn’t seem to notice the bartender’s harshness. He thought their dinners were nice and they never had empty glasses.He thought the disparity in treatment might be explained by the bartender’s presumption that he paid. In a technical sense, he was right, but the woman insisted on treating everyone fairly, not just the tipper or payer, because she had worked in a setting similar to this.

“AITA for telling the bartender that I paid and tipped after she only thanked my husband?” the woman asked, raising doubts about her own morality.

On her Reddit account, the woman received a lot of support, with most members calling her “NTA.” Many commenters agreed that the bartender had treated the original poster rudely and questioned whether the tip was appropriate. Some went so far as to speculate that the bartender might have been making out with OP’s husband.

What do you think about this story? Do you think the woman was acting inappropriately with the bartender, or did she maybe take things too seriously? If you had been treated the same way, would you have given the bartender a tip that was at least 50% of your bill?

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